Saturday, January 31, 2015

Form beyond shape... Hippo over head!

Clado: Let's talk about a popular topic.

Ana: Okay? Popular topic! Done.

Clado: Any guesses!?

Ana: Umm... Yours very dear, Narendra Modi!

Clado: Why does that come here again? Okay, let me say, popular 'thing'.

Ana: Earrrrrings!

Clado: Noooo, that's just for women.

Ana: Alright, no guesses!

Clado: Alright, we'll talk about a thing that has form beyond shape. Yay!

Ana: This is too much. Say. Or don't say.

Clado: Smartphone, that's the most popular thinnnng!

Ana: You've broken your phone?!

Clado: Actually, I've just come across one which has form beyond shape.

Ana: What's that?!

Clado: I mean, a smartphone which has form beyond shape. Oppo smart phone! Dhan tannaaaan!

Ana: Hippo over my head. Let's get back to work!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

More Sensual Pleasure / Km Ridden

Idling at a traffic signal...

Ana: How much noise!

Clado: It's noise?! It's not!

Ana: I just don't like it. Too much.

Clado: It's called 'phatphati'! Not for no reason.

Ana: But I don't like it.

Clado: Some time back, remember, I took you for a good long ride on a Bullet? That you didn't mind, huh?!

Ana: That was different.

Clado: Aahaaaa!

Clado: Look, I have a theory for this.

Clado: For most riders, it's the throbbing sensation under the butt that works!

Ana: Yuckkkk! I don't want to hear this.

Clado: Arre, I am serious! Okay, answer this. Can a machine make music?

Ana: Ummmmm yes in a way, yes!

Clado: That's what! Bullet makes music. That's my theory. The phat-phat or whatever we call is just like beats. Within a certain speed-range, it's a pleasing rhythm for riders. But go beyond a speed and you might not like it.

Clado: In fact, while I see a lot of riders rip Bullets for speed, I think a Bullet is an 'anti-speeding bike'. And that's the charm. Chug along nicely with the beats and the wind.

Ana: Hmm...

Clado: And the roads and the things lining these roads can best be enjoyed when the speed is within a limit. Bullet does that. Makes music. Rides great within a limit.

Ana: Okay, anyway, I don't like it that loud. Can we talk something else? Write this thesis when you go home.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Stereo-SEDAN-Type | brand extension to car extension

Ana: Yuckkkk!

Clado: What happened?
(In a fraction of a second, glances around)

Clado: Okay, I know.

Ana: How do they manage to do such things?

Clado: Ha ha! Economics. Or call it a politico-economic phenomenon.

Ana: What politico-economic?!?! Where does politics come in here?

Clado:  Okay, let me not explain it right now. But I am surprised, how do they digest such things in the first place? And invest? And people buy also!

Ana: People see that sedan-like-extension and say, "Wow, badi gaadi!"

Clado: Sastey mein sedan mil gayi!

Clado: And you know Swift Dzire sells like hot-cakes!?!

Ana: I hate that shape! Par kya hai Maruti hai toh sab chalta hai!

Clado: Tata started the rot. Other car-makers follow suit. Maruti wins. Rotten races also have winners after all.

Ana: Pattttheticcc!

Image Sources:
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Third Image

Monday, June 16, 2014

What's the problem with El Nano?

"Clado, you read this?"

"Read what!?"

"It says 'Tata shuts Nano plant in Gujarat for 35 to 40 days as inventory piles up on low demand'!"

"Hmm... Am I surprised! Sometime back I remember Ratan Tata said he regretted calling it the 'cheapest car'."

"But I like it."

"Even I like it. Actually, I like it when it's stationary."

Ana chuckles... "Funny you are."

"No, really! I wonder why is it so difficult for these Tata guys to see what we see. That car, when it's running on the road, feels like it's gonna break apart in 1000 pieces. It rattles like crazy! It just feels so unpredictable."


"To my mind, it isn't the branding or this or that. To call it 'cheapest' might not be great promotion, but Nano doesn't sell coz its engine-build feels, not just 'cheapest', but also really inferior and unreliable. It feels worse than the earlier Bullet."

"Huh! What a comparo! You can't do that!"

"But seriously, Nano rattles. Audibly and literally!"

Sunday, April 13, 2014

It's for you and your Mom... From Mahindra Retail

Clado: Who's 'me' here?
Clado: Of course, a kid.
Clado: So the kid is saying, 'this is for Mommy and me'.
Ana: They have good stuff. I thought it was a children's store. But they have stuff for women of all ages.
Clado: Same here. Always thought it was a children's store.
Clado: May be they think it's easier to get women to walk in on the pretext of checking out kids' stuff, and then as a surprise, buy for themselves too since the stuff is good, as you point out.
Ana: Yeah, I was surprised.
Clado: But then, if what I say holds, only women with really small kids would walk in. A woman without kids, what would she sense? She doesn't get the idea instantly, I'm sure.
Clado: Anyway, is the retail store a rugged one?
Ana: What! Rugged?!?!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Quanto slated for dustbino?

Ana (pointing towards the car that just passed by in the opposite direction): Waaaw! I just saw an ugly beast!
Clado (focussing on handling his bike on a busy road): What beast!
Ana: Yaaaa, uglier than any beast!
Clado lost in thought about such a demeaning comparison with animals. Few seconds later...
Clado: What did you see? 
Ana: Some Mahindra vehicle, I guess.
Clado: Xylo?
Ana: Not quite, but Mahindra.
Clado: Ooooh, you are talking about that... Quanto!
Ana: Gawd! Don't they think before launching!?
Clado: About what?
Ana: About whether it looks good or not, what else!
Clado: Ha ha! You've checked their bikes?
Knowing her answer, he continues...
Clado: Mahindra thinks Quanto will work because the grill looks like Scorpio's and Scorpio is a super-hit.
Ana: That's not right.
Clado: No, really! And since Quanto is shown as an SUV, I mean compact-SUV, Mahindra thinks Scorpio will come to mean the real SUV.
Ana's not listening now. Clado rambles on.
Clado: Mahindra had such a chance to dominate the category having taken the lead...

Monday, February 10, 2014

Maruti Suzuki continues to redefine the hatchback/small-car category

Clado: They are at it, yet again!
Ana: Who? What?
Clado: Marrrrr-uttttti!
Ana: I am sure, they have come out with yet another odd-looking thing!
Clado chuckles.
Clado: They've just introduced a new car! They call it Celerio! And they have just introduced an automatic gear-shift in a small car. That too at a price-tag of 4 lacs!
Ana: Means no need to change gears? Kinetic for cars, you mean!
Clado: Not that lady! You have to move the gear-shift but without even half the trouble in a regular car.
Ana: Means?
Clado: No clutching. Just moving the gear-stick.
Ana: That saves my legs then!
Few seconds pass...
Clado: I just think they could've done better.
Ana: Right! Why don't you go and make cars for them?!
Clado: Don't be nasty! What I mean is they could've made it easier for people to get the idea.
Pause of a few seconds.
Ana: Hmm... That's alright. They need to explain.
Clado: But what if you can feel the magic in just the first two gears, before even you hit the 5th or 6th?
Ana: Why don't you go join their agency?
Clado: Yeah, right!